Ask the experts: did we fail or prevail at Tabby’s Place this June?
Any month involving the Strawberry Moon would seem a guaranteed success.
But the experts are not so sure.
Consider the evidence, adduced by Barrister Gator and Grecca, Esq.:
We neglected to advocate for our residents’ participation in a month of free Crunchwraps.
We failed to nominate a single Tabby’s Place resident for the tenure-track position of University Taste-Tester of Cheese.
In our feeble defense, we did land some ludicrously luscious adoptions, while welcoming eminents and emirates of incomparable elegance:
Arrived: Knoxville, Bitsy, Twinkie, Lawrence, Athena, Steve-O, Pontius, Dunn, Derby, Oatmilk, Cocoa, Puck, Grayson, Tiger, Esmeralda, Nala, Carlie, Oma, Pele, LaLa, Dipsy, NooNoo, Tinky Winky, Po, Lightning McQueen, Rainy, PacMan, Photini
Adopted: Claire, Whisk, Quokka, Pickles (!), Iris & Nemo (!!), Rusty (!!!), Mika (!!!!), Boba & Espresso (TOGETHER! COMMENCE ALL THE YELLING!!!!!)
Forever Foster Fabulosity: Athena (with the luminous Bree), Millie (with the extraordinary Jae)
Returned: Cassandra
Promoted to the Community Room: Harvey
Promoted to the Lobby: Walker
Triumphantly Returned to the Lobby: Nina, whose tales of brain surgery have secured her election as the Lobby cats’ Homecoming Queen
Promoted to Heaven: PacMan
Stuff We Learned: Joy is not a scrimmage. Snow falls softly on the summer solstice. Terrible can unfurl into tenderness. Arthur is the king. Dunn’s ears are the size of mercy itself.
Add all of this together, and you may conclude that June was a jumping jamboree of abject victory. But you, sweet kitten, are a human, and therefore unqualified to level such judgments.
We have it on feline authority that infinity minus one free Crunchwrap is absolute zero.
We’ll try harder in July.